Twin Toddler Safety Archives | Twiniversity #1 Parenting Twins Site

Safety and Security of Having a Twin

Twiniversity — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 10:48:00 +0000

At three days old I knew my boy/girl twins found safety and security in each other. They were born via emergency C-Section, sending both to the NICU, with baby A (girl) taking up a multi-day residence. After 72 hours in the hospital, we started the talk about what happens when you go home with only one baby while the other stays behind, healing. That same day, a NICU nurse suggested that we bring baby B (boy) to spend some time with his sister. We took him to the NICU, laid him in her bassinet, and just allowed them some time together. Less than 24 hours later, baby A was now an occupant of my hospital room alongside her brother! Watching the safety and security my twins have with each other is my favorite thing about being a mom of multiples. When Do Twins Start Building the “Twinship” Relationship? The safety and security of having a twin develops very early on. A 2010 study from Italy’s University of Parma and the University of Turin found that twins interact socially with each other as early as the 14th week of gestation. The study’s findings suggest that twin fetuses are aware of their siblings and want to interact with them. By the 18th week of gestation, the twin fetuses were spending more time contacting their partner than themself. All through my twin pregnancy I jokingly scolded the twins for fighting for space with every kick. Turns out, it wasn’t a joke at all! They really were interacting and bonding (and probably got into a duel every now and then too). Do All Twins Find Safety and Security in Each Other? The bond between twins is distinctive regardless of whether they share the same DNA. Maureen Healy, an expert on sensitive children and author of Growing Happy Kids, says that twins have a bond that is oftentimes unexplainable and are closer than typical siblings — whether they’re fraternal or identical. And even though fraternal twins are two genetically unique beings, she thinks the time spent in the same womb during the prenatal period creates a close connection. Based on research, it seems that all twins create a safe and secure relationship when very young. However, depending on environmental factors, twins do not always continue to have a relationship throughout their lives. Twin estrangement usually grows out of unresolved anger, disappointment, and resentment. When twins are misunderstood and mistreated by each other, their communication can be destroyed because of fighting and unrealistic expectations. If not resolved, this can cause feelings of hatred. Sometimes causing twins to grow apart and not continue to share a safe and secure relationship. My twins are 5 years old, so we are right in the middle of the “love/hate” relationship of siblings. My twins fight and make up at least 12 times a day, sometimes more. No matter the fight and who hurt who’s feelings, I know my twins will always work it out (for now). They are more sensitive to the actions of each other than to anyone else. They truly care what the other thinks. When one twin says something hurtful to the other twin, tears are bigger and frowns are deeper than when their older sibling hurts their feelings. Are There Any Cons to Twins Relying on Each Other? Twins spend 38 weeks (give or take) together before birth. They share a special way of communicating and understanding each other without words. This safety and security twins receive from each other allows them to rely on one another. This is both a blessing and a curse. Although adorable, when your twins find safety and security in being together it can lead to some emotional distress when separated. Separation Anxiety Twins grow up side by side, share experiences, and understand each other without saying a word. The safety and security that twins have is strong and, if broken, anxiety and depression can ensue. In young twins, these feelings cause crying, tantrums, anger, and sadness. Older twins who have separated at one point in their life have admitted to having suffered from loneliness even when surrounded by people. Why? Because no one understands them as much as their twin. Dr. Barbara Klein, an identical twin, and author on twin-identity development says she experienced intense separation anxiety when separated from her twin. In extreme cases, the relationship can be so intense that one twin cannot function without the other. Twin separation anxiety should diminish with age and experience, but it is possible to have these feelings linger throughout their lives. There may always be that longing and loneliness whenever away from their twin. Depression Experiencing depression when missing your twin is normal when you are a twin. The loneliness that twins experience is impossible for non-twins to understand. When you are used to having someone near you that “gets you”, it can be frustrating and lonely when away from them. Twins often understand each other without words and often expect others to have this same connection with them as their twin siblings. This feeling of being misunderstood can heighten their loneliness and make them miss their twin sibling more. If this loneliness lasts long enough, it can turn into depression. Many twins will tell you that there is an extra special bond that comes from sharing a womb. However, there is always an exception. In fact, some twins can’t stand each other. Twins always have highs and lows, but is there something parents can do to encourage more highs? Can I Encourage a Safety and Security Bond in My Twins? I was given advice on encouraging a twin connection from a fraternal twin whose brother is also her best friend. They have the rom-com spin on how a boy/girl fraternal twin relationship is meant to be: best friends through adolescence; dated each other’s friends in high school, and then her brother married her best girlfriend. Now her first best friend has also made her second-best friend her sister (is… Continue Reading Safety and Security of Having a Twin

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My daughter needed CPR TWICE at home after her NICU stay

Twiniversity — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 15:58:27 +0000

Wondering why you should take a CPR class as a twin parent? Read about how Twiniversity founder Natalie Diaz’s twin girl needed infant CPR twice to save her life. I don’t talk about it much. Years later, it’s still a bit raw. They say time heals all wounds, but they still aren’t healed. It’s like a scab I pick at it every so often. My twins were born at 34 weeks, on the day when preeclampsia reared its ugly head and my body just couldn’t do it anymore. My twinnies were born around 5 am, only two minutes apart via vaginal delivery. We were lucky that my doctor planned ahead and gave me steroid shots for the twins’ lungs. Once they were born, the twins spent some expected time in the NICU. Baby B, Johnny, was there 14 days, while Baby A, Anna, had a harder time getting her act together and had a longer stay with 31 nights under her tiny belt. Her stay was longer because she had a hard time eating and breathing at the same time, and her digestive system didn’t finish cooking while she was still a bun in my oven. No matter what we gave her, it ended up all over us. Breastmilk, formula, or a combo, it seemed to spill out of her as fast as it went in. Finally heading home Before Anna was discharged, the hospital made sure we took a CPR class. They assured us that we probably wouldn’t need it, but because of all the issues she had, we just may. Spoiler alert: we needed it. We needed CPR twice with our tiny girl. On March 17th, 2005, Saint Patrick’s Day I was home alone with the twins and asked my sister to come up and help me with a feed. I dressed the kids up to take some pictures in their sweet new onesies that said “Kiss me I’m ¼ Irish”. I sat them in their bouncy seats side by side and had a mini photoshoot. After the shoot, I pumped, fed them, and started watching the St. Patty’s Day parade with my sister as the kids played in their bouncy seats at our feet. Round one with CPR A short while later, I looked at my daughter and she looked weird. Her eyes were open wide and she was arching her back. I quickly noticed her belly wasn’t moving and she wasn’t breathing. Yelling to my sis “She’s not breathing”, I grabbed her and started pounding on her back. It wasn’t working. My sister scooped her up from my arms and ran her to the changing table only a few steps away. She laid her down, tilted her airway, pinched her tiny nose, and sent a breath of life into her. Moments later she was crying and breathing. I got dressed while my sister dressed my daughter and I RAN to the pediatricians’ office with her in my arms which was a few blocks away. Consult the pros They brought me into a room and my doctor, Dr. Marie Keith, came in to assess what was happening to my tiny daughter. Dr. Keith knew exactly what the problem was. She was very familiar with all my daughter’s issues. She had close contact with the NICU team at the hospital and the gastro docs that we had been following up with since her discharge. Our girl had severe acid reflux and when she would have a reflux episode it got caught in her airway. The breath we put into her cleared her airway, allowing it to open and she would breathe again. My pediatrician told me to keep an eye on her and she also told me she was going to make some calls, and someone would be in my house the following morning to refresh me on CPR, not only for me but for anyone who would be spending time with my kids without me. The following morning, a CPR professional showed up, and with a fresh pot of coffee, my entire twin team (my mom, sis, aunt, and husband) sat down and got a refresher course on how to react if this should happen again. The teacher was calm, informative, and empathetic to our situation. I felt better after that and while you can never be “ready” for your daughter to stop breathing, we knew what we had to look for. Round two with CPR On Easter Sunday, ten days after the St. Patrick’s Day incident, I had settled the twins down in their cribs in the other room to sit down for a large Easter feast. The whole family of 13 was invited. I cooked a large traditional Italian Easter dinner, and I had JUST sat down to dig in. Suddenly, my son started crying an unusual cry I had never heard before. It was a little animal like if I had to describe it. As a mom of three-month-old twins, I had gotten used to the sounds of the crying, but this was different. I got up from the table and said out loud, “I don’t even know why I’m going in here…” to my family sitting around the table waiting for me to say a prayer. Who needs to use CPR twice in 2 weeks? I opened the door, went to the side of the room where my sons’ crib was to figure out what that animalistic cry was all about. The moment I was next to him, he stopped. Yes, weird to say the least. I checked him anyway. I gave a quick smell over him, felt his pajama. Everything was normal. He was awake though. Looking at me, but silent. Since I was in there, I went over to my daughter’s crib and that’s when I noticed it. She wasn’t breathing. I had a moment of shock and then screamed “SHE’S TURNING BLUE. SHE’S NOT BREATHING!” I was frozen in panic. Everyone rushed in. My father-in-law grabbed her and immediately started… Continue Reading My daughter needed CPR TWICE at home after her NICU stay

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Toddler Ride-On Toys: The Good, The Bad, and The Necessary

Twiniversity — Wed, 03 Feb 2021 17:50:46 +0000

Are you looking for fun outdoor toys for your toddler? Before you hit the stores, check out the ins and outs of toddler ride-on toys! One of the joys of being a parent is watching little ones grow and develop and gain a sense of independence and freedom as they mature. As little ones learn to balance, stand up, and eventually walk, toddler ride-on toys can provide endless hours of play for kids. Ride-on toys come in many forms: Ride-ons can provide children with a great platform to develop gross and fine motor skills, refine balance, and help with coordination. What Are the Best Ride-on Toys for Toddlers? As most of us parents know, toddlers are very active. Toddler ride-on toys are a great way to harness this energy and use it to practice physical skills and develop new ones. Seek out toys that encourage your toddler to be active: Good Toddler Ride-on Toys to Check Out STEP2 Whisper Ride II Ride on Push Car Little kids love to play pretend in this push-style ride-on. The steering wheel is pretend but has a working horn and lots of interior space for a comfier ride. Features cup-holders and under-hood storage make it fun for the tot while convenient for the adult pushing. Step2 Up & Down Roller Coaster Rapid Ride & Hide Edition Your toddler will love cruising down 9 ft. of roller coaster track in an ATV-style coaster car! They’ll practice gross motor skills by pushing the coaster car back up onto the platform, as well as balance and hand-eye coordination while rapidly riding down the track. The track includes step pieces so that kids can easily climb into the car from either side. Great for indoor or outdoor use and on or off the track. Ride on Wiggle Car by Lil’ Rider – Ride on Toys for Boys and Girls It’s so easy to operate; all you need is a driver and a smooth, flat surface. There are no batteries or fuel; just wiggle the front steering wheel, which is attached to two pivoting wheels and harnesses the natural forces of centrifugal force, gravity, and friction to cause the car to move forward and backward. Turn and navigate in small spaces indoors and ride outdoors. This is a great ride-on toy for any child age 2 or older and holds up to 150 lb. Little Tikes Go and Grow Lil’ Rollin’ Giraffe This ride-on toy (buy on Amazon) is a great starter ride-on and it’s also super cute! Who wouldn’t want to ride their own giraffe? The seat is adjustable and comes with customizable spot decals. Some assembly is required, but still very easy to put together. LOL-FUN Baby Balance Bike This ride-on toy is one that will grow with your toddler. It features a 4-in-1 design that goes from tricycle to balance bike, to toddler bike with just the press of a button (or two)! Buy on Amazon Kid Trax Silly Skaters Unicorn Ride-On Toy OK, so what kid DOESN’T want to ride their own UNICORN? This is going to be a home run! This ride-on toys is a soft, inflatable unicorn on roller skates for riding or pushing along. Motion-activated light-up LED roller skates add to the fun and fanciful style, and it’s constructed of soft, durable rubber material for long-lasting use. Buy on Amazon Larktale Scoobi Want just one toy that will take you from ride-on all the way to a big kid scooter? Check out the Larktale scoobi. This awesome transitional toy goes from balance ride-on toy to tricycle to easy-to-use scooter. While pricier than the other toys listed here, this one will last you a lot longer. Use the coupon code LARK-TWIN for 20% off your order – Click here to buy. What Toys Should a 2 Year Old Play With? Toddlers are rapidly learning language and starting to test their boundaries and enter the inevitable “I want to do it by myself” stage. They have good control of their hands and fingers and like to do things with small objects. Pretend play also starts around this age. Introducing dress-up clothes, dolls, kitchen sets, toy cars, trucks, and airplanes encourage pretend play and imagination. Encourage creativity with large crayons, finger paints, and Play-Doh. During the toddler years gross and fine motor skills are developing quickly. Enrich these skills with puzzles, large Legos and blocks, and sand/water toys. Toys for using their large and small muscles; balls for kicking and throwing, toddler ride-on toys, scooters, tunnels, low climbers with soft material underneath, and pounding and hammering toys are good age-appropriate toys also. Noisy toys are always enticing to children of all ages, but I suggest only buying noisy toys with removable batteries. Can a 2 Year Old Drive Power Wheels? Fisher-Price Power Wheels toys are designed for children ages 12 months to 7 years. However, the majority of drivable vehicles have a minimum age recommendation of 3. Every Power Wheels are built for a specific age group. Before buying a Power Wheels for your child, check the age range. If you’re worried about letting your little kid have full control in a Power Wheels, purchase a model with a remote control so parents can help steer. Are Ride-on Toys Worth It? Ride-on toys are a great catalyst for kids’ physical and emotional development. Children’s ride-on toys help improve gross and fine motor skills as well as coordination and balance. These toys are a lot of fun and will give your kids a sense of freedom. They help kids to become more creative and confident. Playing with ride-on toys encourages physical activities and outdoor play. What Age Is Best for Ride-on Toys? The best way to determine if your child is ready for a ride-on toy, is by assessing the physical development of your child and also being aware of the age appropriate guidelines of the toy. It’s not recommended to buy toddler ride-on toys for children that are 10 months and younger. Usually, kids at that… Continue Reading Toddler Ride-On Toys: The Good, The Bad, and The Necessary

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How Do You Know Which Toddler Tricycle is Best For Your Kid?

Twiniversity — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 19:33:15 +0000

Looking for a fun outdoor activity for your toddler? If they aren’t quite ready for a bicycle, give a toddler tricycle a try! Tricycles come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and children as young as 18 months of age can be seen riding one. For generations, the tricycle has been a child’s first experience with cycling. In fact, riding a tricycle seems to be a right of passage for most kids. Starting with a toddler tricycle is a great way to give children independence and encourage outdoor play. Are trikes good for toddlers? Riding a tricycle is an effective way to improve balance and coordination of various parts of your child’s body. Riding a tricycle promotes hand-eye coordination, motor skills and enhances muscle growth. Additionally, it also helps enhance arm-leg coordination as your toddler learns to master climbing on and off the tricycle. Of course, kids love it because it’s fun, but it also gives a child confidence in their physical abilities. The sense of accomplishment your child will feel when they pedal for the first time is awesome for their self-esteem. What age can a toddler ride a tricycle? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), most children are ready to ride a tricycle when they are around 3 years old. This is the age when children meet the cognitive milestones needed to succeed at riding a trike. 3-year-old children should be able to listen and respond to directions and have the physical coordination to pedal. If your child is unable to do these then it is a good idea to wait to teach them (not to mention less frustrating for the parent). Toddler not ready for a tricycle? Check out this post about toddler scooters instead for hours of outdoor fun. Can a 2 year old ride a trike? If you buy a tricycle at the wrong time, your little one might not be able to enjoy it. What’s more, the child may completely loathe the idea of riding a tricycle considering the effort it requires. Your toddler’s feet should be able to touch the ground, their knees should bend slightly when settled on the pedals and your child should be able to reach the handlebars. Finding the most age-appropriate trike is not always a walk in the park. Some have seats too far from the pedals that your child can’t reach while others come without a footrest. This is when a 4-in-1 or Grow w/ Me tricycle is a good option. The best way for young children to learn the skill of pedaling is to start with a toddler tricycle and then progress to a bigger tricycle as they grow. What is the best tricycle for a 2 year old? Radio Flyer Deluxe Steer & Stroll Trike This versatile tricycle is 2 trikes in 1. Pedals lock to become footrests for your child while you steer using the parent steering handle or unlock the pedals and remove the parent push handle when your child is ready to ride on their own. This trike features an adjustable seat that grows with your child and is equipped with a covered rear storage bin so your toddler can bring their favorite toys on every adventure. Supports up to 49 pounds and is constructed of a solid steel frame, chrome bell, and durable molded wheels. Buy one here. Radio Flyer 4-in-1 Stroll ‘N Trike We like this Radio Flyer, too! It’s great for little one and grows with your child. Use it for kids from age 1-5! That’s a lot of years to use one scooter. Use the parent-controlled steering when your toddler doesn’t quite have it down yet, but let them slowly gain confidence and independence as they grow by removing pieces to ride alone! The canopy has UV protection and the safety harness will give you peace of mind while your little one races off down the sidewalk! Get this scooter here. Schwinn Roadster Tricycle We like this Schwinn for its low-to-the-ground design. Let’s be honest, the lower the better when your toddler is getting the hang of tricycles. Those cool chrome fenders give this bike a retro feel that they will love. It comes in six colors and is best for children ages 2-4. The tassels and classic bell are so fun! Get one here today! smarTrike Breeze Plus This bike from smarTrike will grow with your toddler from age 1 to age 3 by removing the parent steering, the UV canopy and the foot stands. The parent steering comes with a button to seamlessly switch between parent and child steering control. It comes in two colors and offers a two year warranty. Get it here. Joovy Tricycoo LX Kid’s Tricycle This toddler tricycle can be used form 6 months all the way until your little one turns 5 years old! It has 8 different configurations to accommodate pretty much any size and ability. Get any of the 5 colors here. What is the best tricycle for a 3 year old? Radio Flyer Classic Dual Deck Tricycle This sturdy trike features steel construction, spoked wheels, a 12” front wheel, and real rubber tires for durability. The controlled turning radius prevents tipping for safe and confident riding. This tricycle is classically styled and includes chrome handlebars and a fender. Your child will also love the streamers and ringing bell, and the double-deck rear step makes climbing on and off easy. The adjustable seat grows with your child. This trike is designed with the seat placement at a 45-degree angle to the pedals, allowing your child to use a downward motion making pedaling easier. Buy this here. How do I teach my 2 year old to pedal a tricycle? The best way to show your child how pedals work is to demonstrate. You can do that by placing their feet on the pedal and then using your hands to rotate the pedals to make the wheels move. Ensuring that you teach pedaling before putting your little… Continue Reading How Do You Know Which Toddler Tricycle is Best For Your Kid?

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When To Move To a Booster Seat

Twiniversity — Thu, 28 Mar 2019 04:00:29 +0000

Find out the right time to switch your child to a booster seat, thanks to our friends at Diono. When Should I Switch My Child to a Booster Seat? When is the right time to switch a child to a booster seat? It’s a little more complicated than you may think. You need to consider your child’s height, weight, maturity level, and other factors. Let’s delve into this, shall we? What Is a Booster Seat and Why Do We Use It? First, let’s define what a booster is and why it’s needed. Booster seats are a middle step between a car seat with a harness and a seat belt. A booster seat protects children who are too large for a car seat and too small to only use a seat belt. The booster seat raises and positions a child so the vehicle’s lap-and-shoulder belt fit properly over the stronger parts of a child’s body. This keeps the lap belt from causing injury to a child’s abdomen and keeps the shoulder belt in the proper position to give the child upper body protection. The booster seat should be used in the back seat of the car and only with a lap-and-shoulder belt — never with a lap-only belt. Serious head and/or internal injuries can result from excessive head movement and abdominal injuries from the lap belt. According to a CHOP 2003 study, booster seats are more than twice as effective in reducing the risk of injury when compared with seat belts alone. 5 Mistakes Parents Make When Installing a Car Seat When Should I Switch My Child to a Booster Seat? Children should be moved to a belt-positioning booster seat only when they have outgrown the height or weight of their forward-facing car seat. Many booster seats have weight ranges starting at 40 pounds and ending at much higher limits. Here’s a tip to tell at a glance if your child has physically outgrown their car seat. If your child’s shoulders are above the highest harness slot or when the top of your child’s ears are at or above the top of the shell of their car seat, it’s time to make the switch. Another factor in deciding if it’s time to move to a booster is the child’s maturity level. If your child has difficulty sitting upright in a car seat for long periods of time, not leaning against the door of the car, and not unbuckling their seat belt while in motion, you should probably keep them in a harness. In this case, you should purchase a car seat with a higher weight limit until they are mature enough to switch to a booster seat. Note: Always consult the booster seat owner’s manual for the weight ranges and correct use of booster seats. What’s the Best Vehicle When You Have 3 Under the Age of 3? High-Back vs. Backless Boosters High-back boosters provide an easier and more consistent way to keep the shoulder belt at the correct level for your child’s shoulder. It also trains your child to sit properly and gives provides more comfort. Lastly, some high back booster seats are designed with side impact protection features. With a backless booster seat, the child uses the vehicle’s seat back or built-in head restraint for head, neck, and back support. Most backless booster seats come with a shoulder belt positioner to adjust the shoulder belt height on the child. These can be difficult to keep at the correct level for your child’s shoulder, so make sure to check it each time before heading out on your trip. In Case You Didn’t Know You don’t need to use the LATCH system to connect your booster seat to the car because the seat belt plus the weight of your child keeps the booster seat in place. However, if the booster comes with the LATCH system, use it if you have an appropriate seating position for it. It will keep the seat secured when it is unoccupied. If it does not come with a LATCH system, we advise to buckle up the booster seat to avoid it from becoming a projectile in the event of a crash. Please note that some forward-facing combination seats may allow for connecting the child restraint to the vehicle using LATCH even when used as a booster seat. However, some high-back boosters can only be used with a seat belt. 10 Rear-Facing Car Seat Mistakes Parents Make One More Thing to Consider Don’t be in a rush to move your child to a booster seat too soon. Best practice is to wait until your child is at least 40 lbs. before switching to a booster seat. As long as your child is under the weight and height limitations for their car seat, they are better off in a 5-point harness. A 5-point harness distributes crash forces over a much larger area of the body when compared to a seat belt, which is why it’s recommended for smaller children. Don’t allow pressure from other family members or friends to sway your choice and make you switch too early. The Diono Everett NXT is a great choice for the next step in your twins’ car seat safety. Source: NHTSA.gov

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How Should I Handle My Twins Preschool Pick-Up Procedure?

Twiniversity — Mon, 10 Sep 2018 11:15:27 +0000

A MoM recently asked: My twins recently started preschool. As a procedure at the school, for single kids, the teachers put the kids in their seats and strap them in when the parents come to pick them up. Since I have twins, it is not that simple. The director has asked me to let her put the twins in the car, have me drive forward, and strap them in away from the pick-up line. She claims that it takes too long to get both kids strapped in and causes the line to be slower. I feel this is unsafe and even offered to park and walk up to get them instead. She said that wouldn’t be necessary, but then today made the same request for me to move my vehicle without my twins strapped in. I can get them strapped in quickly without even leaving my van. We are about as fast as just one kid and definitely faster than two separate kids in separate cars. Have any other twin parents come across this issue, and how did you handle it? Here’s what our Twiniversity fans had to say: – You pay 2 tuitions, you should get the same amount of time it takes to buckle in 2 different vehicles. Or petition the rest of the parents to show that waiting an extra minute for your children to be safe isn’t a big deal. ∼ HM – If every single car is picking up a single child and you are managing to pick up 2 students at once then there is no possibility of you taking longer to get 2 children than 2 separate cars getting 2 children. Good grief. People can be so ridiculous! Another example of the sight of twins FRYING SOMEONE’S BRAIN. Why can’t people think straight when they see twins? ∼ NWR – This is crazy and probably illegal for her to ask. It’s definitely illegal for you to do! Tell her that the law requires the kids to be strapped in before the car moves one inch. If she doesn’t want you in the line, you reasonably already offered to come to get them and walk them to the car. ∼ SC – I wouldn’t mind just pulling forward. But I would not accept the school buckling other children in. Are they assuming all liability in case of an accident? ∼ AL – What happens when a door isn’t latched completely and your loose preschoolers push against it? Or decide to roll down the window and climb? Climb up to check out what momma is doing and fall into the gearshift? Even at slow speeds, terrible things can happen. This is silly to even ask of you. I would give her several options *you buckle one she buckles one * you go in and get them *you pull forward and they walk them both to you *you arrive 10 min early or late and load without “holding up the line” *you find a new preschool. Let her pick which option works best for the school. ∼ HG – You stay where you are and buckle them in. They can’t make you move and tell them your twins safety comes first! They’ll just have to wait. I’ve seen cars bumped in the rear in car pick up lines. Not hard but bumped hard enough that if a child weren’t buckled in could knock them forward. Safety first all else would just have to wait. Tell them you’d be happy to have them buckle one while I do the other. ∼ ES – There is no way, zero chance that I would move my vehicle unless they are strapped in. Is it likely that something will happen? No, but from the time they were infants, the car doesn’t move unless everyone is safely belted in. No ifs and I would not accept someone else telling me that it “won’t hurt”. My children, my rules. I would just get out and strap one in while she’s doing the other. Tell her that it’s not just a safety issue. It’s teaching your children good habits – including buckle up. ∼ KM – Just say, “No, I will not break the law and teach my children that we can drive in a car while leaving restraints intentionally unbuckled FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. Either you let me buckle them in or you take the time you need to buckle both and the people behind me can wait less time than it would take to secure two separate children in separate vehicles.” ∼ RKB – We buckled our own children at preschool pickup line! I’d just put my van in park, and get out of the van. She walked them to me. Then she walked back to get the next child! I buckled them while she did this. No different than the other parents! I think it is odd that a teacher is buckling then in any way? My kids could do most of the buckling themselves, and then I just tightened the straps and checked them. ∼ DMF – Are your children old enough to learn how to strap themselves in? This may be a good time to start teaching them this fine-motor skill. As a twin Mom and a teacher that supervises elementary pick-up line, I get both sides of this conundrum. Yes, your children’s safety is important as is the flow of the car line. We all talk about how patient we will be waiting for the parents ahead of us to buckle their kids in, but on the day we need that nobility it’s usually in short supply. It’s also, at my school at least, hazardous to have people out of the vehicle on the drivers’ side since there is a through lane on that side. For everyone’s safety, I would, and did, walk up to pick my children up. ∼ SHM – I had this same issue and told them no way am I driving off without buckling them in even just to pull over into a… Continue Reading How Should I Handle My Twins Preschool Pick-Up Procedure?

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The Child Harness Debate: What’s the Big Deal?

Twiniversity — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 05:00:06 +0000

Cloth diapers versus disposable. Breast versus bottle. Cry-it-out versus super snuggle time (guilty, I’m a snuggler). While the Mommy Wars rage on, I like to see both sides of the debate and the benefits and detriments to each. I want to know how I really feel about something, so it helps me to read and learn about how others do it differently, especially if I am tackling a new phase with my twins. Usually, it validates my feelings. I get ideas from moms who have been there and done that and try out various approaches. Now that my twins are mobile and running about, I always have to scope out how to keep them safe when we venture out. Logistically, I can carry them both, but only for a short while until my back starts to scream for mercy. I am half joking when I say that I am surprised my arms aren’t totally buff yet. When people ask me what I do when they both run in two different directions, I tell them that I have it all figured out. “I just scoop up the faster one,” I deadpan, “because then I can definitely catch up and get the slower one.” The truth is, I only have it figured out in fenced-in, familiar places where I also have my stroller at the ready, so when they go nuts, I can easily call it quits and go home. I spend a lot of time researching places that are new to us. I’m the type of person that always has a plan and a back-up plan. So, the issue that I have to decide where I stand is one that is always fraught with tension: whether or not to use safety harnesses or backpacks with leashes. I’d like to first understand why it seems to me that people either voice an emphatic “No!” or are adamant that their use of them promotes safety at the risk of scrutiny from strangers. I’ve been mulling it over for weeks and observing parents that use the harnesses to see how the children and strangers react. This is what I found out: Why the anger? People get downright angry about this topic and I think I have a few ideas why. The connection of seeing a child restrained in this way is too reminiscent to pets being leashed. If some dogs have the intelligence and ability to be trained to sit and stay, is it bothersome that some children cannot be taught the same set of elementary skills or are unable to follow directions? Do people assume that the parent is lazy and not attentive to the child? There’s a lot of assuming going on, without understanding why this is the parents’ choice and if they have exhausted other more socially acceptable options. Is it our own self-righteousness that fuels this debate? Parenting is hard. Parenting twins is doubly hard. Throw into the mix a child with a harness and the parent is looking at their phone. It’s like all hell breaks loose for onlookers. I’ve watched this scenario go down at the park, and the looks directed at the inattentive parent were scary, even to me and I’m a New Yorker! Thankfully, we live in a free country and can choose how to parent our children based on their needs. Anger, be gone! Why so nosy? Does it really matter to you how people choose to keep their children from running into a busy street or escaping the playground area? Assuming that the child is not being hurt, whether the harness is the backpack kind or chest kind, how does it directly affect you other than being troublesome because you might disagree with the method? When I put my twins down, I almost always scream out, “Release the babies!” for my own amusement. Should I not do that because you think it is silly or stupid? Some of us have tentative children, those that are reluctant to venture too far from your pant leg. Some of us have full blown marathon runners. I’m sure as a parent of multiples you have endured the usual barrage of unwarranted advice from people who don’t have twins and can’t understand the dynamic. How is it any different for me per se, to give advice to a parent with a child that zooms off if I don’t have a child that runs off easily? What works for one may not work for another I have three children and they are all very different. I do my best to implement different approaches for each. What calms my youngest son? Sweeping the floor. What calms my daughter? Listening to music (especially dance music, so thank you, Rihanna!) What calms my oldest son? The promise of candy, and then he is calm until the sugar kicks in, so parenting fail on my part. I’d like to believe that parents do have the well-being of their children at heart and even though some choices are controversial, if it helps your child, you do it and run the risk of people’s comments. We all should be used to random comments by now! The bottom line is, and you are probably not going to like it, after writing this article I did decide what to do about safety harnesses and I am not going to reveal which side of this fence I stand on just yet. I now have a strong viewpoint, because I know which method I am comfortable with and how I want to teach my twins to understand boundaries and what is acceptable behavior at the park, beach, or store. I came to this decision after spending some time with my favorite cousins out of state this past weekend. They have a huge park like property, where the twins were able to run free. But, they also have a stone patio and bears (!!!), and we had at least two sets of hands on deck to chase, and I mean… Continue Reading The Child Harness Debate: What’s the Big Deal?

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